Monday, 8 August 2011

a hard decision

ANOTHER FOLLOWER? Wow! Thank you. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this blog thing. I like it! I really do, talking about someone like Shauna is just so cool. And some people don't understand how amazing she is, like my family or girlfriend, they don't understand how amazing she is and get frustrated when I talk about her, at least here I have some things to say to people who, I think, understands :-) thanks

So today test results came back. It wasn't good, not at all but it was news. We met before giving Shauna the news and discussed it. I could see the disappointment on Dr Elche's face, but he held himself together. And pulled to the right words, as we were walking down the hall, I felt this need to prepare myself for some sort of reaction for Shauna. I never need to, she always takes news well and holds herself together, but I just felt it. As we turned into Shauna's room. She looked to us, and a tear dropped down her face. I've never, not once, seen this. She just couldn't hold her words anymore. We all knew that whenever we gave her news she put on a brave face, her positive words were honest and true, but that brave face was our convincing ticket. Eventually Dr Elche went to her, I think he realised the shock on our faces, we just couldn't move. None of us, its like we didn't know how to handle the situation. It sounds incredibly unprofessional, but please understand that we have NEVER experienced this with her. Not once.

When Dr Elche asked if she was okay, she simply replied "I'm so sorry, I just can't. I really can't. I can't handle any news, good or bad." We had no clue what to do, and I think that I was more blown away than the others. She continued "I've been thinking about this for a while. But this is my confirmation. I can't handle any more news, good or bad. My fight still stands, I am going to keep this fight whether I feel like things are getting worse or not. Its just too much for me" we spoke with her for a while after this. And the doctors respect her request. Its been now agreed that no more news, good or bad will be given to her. This is what she wants, and I know that some of you may have your doubts about this decision but its he choice, and I think its a brave one to make.

Don't get me wrong, we will assess the importance of this, especially Dr Elche, however should the need to give her this information arise, Shauna will be informed. At this stage, she does not want any confirmation whatsoever.

Further to that, the test results revealed that Shauna has another clot, we'll be assessing this one and doctors will perform a "declotting" procedure tomorrow morning and run tests again. These clots are dangerous and we will have to carefully monitor them as chances of more coming back are always high enough for concern.

Thank you all again for reading this blog. Its dedicated to a true hero. Someone who dedicates her life, not to herself but to others. And that makes her a hero.

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