Tuesday, 9 August 2011

1 year ago

Goodness, another follower! This is amazing! Thank you.

Its so funny how knowing Shauna impacts on your "personal life" being your life outside being around Shauna. She just somehow always manages to stay in your thoughts and on your mind and if she's not there is always that simple reminder of her. Its always something small that just makes you remember. Here's a good example:

This morning before my shift, my girlfriend and I went to do our general shopping seeing as its a public holiday and the malls may just be empty that time. Shauna, I know, hates going shopping. I suppose the idea of aimless walking in a mall just isn't her thing, neither is it mine. However, my girlfriend has this need to shop constantly. As we walk down the lanes we usually skip the section for children's toys, which is logical. However, this morning I just decided to continue without realising we were in the toys section, which would have been heaven for Shauna. Really. Looking at each toy on the rack, it suddenly made me think of her. It bothered my girlfriend how excited I got looking at all these toys: cars, planes, helicopters, trucks, tractors, puzzles, books, balls, the various action figurines, transformers toys. It was just so cool! I took some pictures and sent them to Dr Elche, I made him promise that after I post the blog he puts it on to twitter, I am in denial of the fact that I really have no clue how to upload pictures here :-) it was really great to just feel the excitement she has when she sees it.

I just had to share that.

Getting back to the actual point, today we done the declotting procedure as planned. Well, not me, but I was told that it ran quite smoothly. Shauna is quite sick and has suffered nausea for most of the day. Hopefully it wears off soon enough. In the morning, we will do some tests, and I'll be on the early shift. I'll let you all know how she's doing then.

Something also hit me today. Tomorrow marks our one year anniversary. One year since I've known her. Yes, ONE WHOLE YEAR! For the team this is a big thing. Its a really important anniversary. a year ago today I was a student. I was going throug Shauna's case. My fellow student friends were honestly annoying back then, they would go on and on and on about this assignment. Why I would choose this assignment opposed to general hospital care. I hated them for it. I have no clue why I chose this myself, but there's not a day that goes by that I regret it. I was wondering through Shauna's file and I remember thinking to myself that it will take a few months and its a clinical trial which means that she probably won't make it very far. Clearly I didn't know her.

The thing is, the way I see it, its been a year that she has been through all of this and to be far worse off than before. Now let's clear the air here, these trials are not the cause of the leukemia, doctors knew it would happen. It was fact to them. However, she has been through so much, and there were days when I felt like she could have just given in, because of the pain she experiences and the frustrations she has and being sick all the time. Its a lot for one person to go through, and its harder for us to watch. But she's strong and so are we. She's gotten this far, I know she can get further.

Thanks for reading.

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