Thursday, 27 October 2011

hello hello hello

Hi readers :) I am so terribly sorry for not updating my blog of late. We have so many things we need to plan and I have been drowning in paper work and of course our hero who knows not of rest has been talking to me about going "paperless" and how that can help me and the team. And its working like a dream. So much simpler and I can see some happy trees out there :)

So our lovely lady has now also been released for home. I can picture all those smiles on your faces with confusion in the back of your minds. Last week we had the sponsors with external assistance running some painful tests and putting Shauna through the worst kind of procedures to test and push her further. I'll give you info on their findings in a second. Their determination was basically that she can continue through the trials, now Shauna was the one who initially requested the contract extension. She wants to see the trials through. From her side it was noble, from our sponsors side it was an excuse for torment (Dr Elche... I hope they don't know about the blog!) , I'm just expressing myself. I cannot imagine the amount of pain she took with a simple smile like its going to be okay. Its noble and respectable. Their determination (in basic English) was that Shauna is fit to proceed with the trials and procedures which are coming forth. Shauna's ability to handle enormous amounts of strenuous treatment and tormenting tests are noble. She's okay to move forward with her procedure and then an extension of 18 months further care( to be reassessed at the final month) will be provided by Dr Elche and his team. Treatments have been helping Shauna, it is without doubt that Shauna's situation is rare however the contribution made by these treatments and trials have been enormous. She's making a remarkable recovery and we trust that pushing forward she will be able to shift her current cancer status with the help of this trial. - yes, that's their stamp of approval, isn't that just great?

Over and above that, the sponsors asked Dr Elche if it would be advisable to send her home, which he agreed to. This is how it all went down. Shauna's home now and Sunday morning will travel the very long and bright road to Oudtshoorn which she is very excited. She'll be there for two weeks and will return to prepare for her procedure thereafter. I'm so proud of her, she's really improving. Sometimes I think that this cannot possibly be all science out there, somehow and in some way Shauna's will to survive is just too strong for her to give up. And that makes her a real hero.

Oh and before I leave... I just need to like boast about this in every way possible... I am no longer "single" or "dating" I am now, bewedded (I always wanted to say that)... Yes, apparently running off to weird places with the absolute love of your life just returns you as married, well in my case, I'm all life partnered up!

Thanks for reading :-)

Thursday, 20 October 2011

I'm back

Oooooh I am back ladies and gents :) back to have some fun... Thank you Alex for all your updates on our superhero, I guess you're better at this than me. You will be missed when you're gone.

So, anyone want some info on our superhero? She's doing extra great now that she's got smoothies coming back. I heard that there was a failed attempt at making these... Shauna, I swear that I won't leave you smoothieless again. She's been quite tough, the trial assessors (being our sponsors) are here assessing the success of the trials thus far and whether Shauna should be continuing or not and further assessing the succession of the trials. Shauna has been put through a ridiculous amount of painful testing and procedures and still has two more days of this kind of scrutiny (I think its spelt that way). And for now, we can do nothing but hope she's okay, if at any point she can't cope she has to let them know. Yeah! Like that will happen!

She's strong, and has been strong all this time, I know she'll do okay. She's managed to walk a bit better, and is able to hold a significant pace so we're all proud.

That's enough from me for now, I'll have to get back to the hospital now.

Thanks for reading


Monday, 17 October 2011

thank you

I've read through Kelly's blog and noticed some odd thank you messages to those who support Shauna. And here's a little thank you from my side! Shauna is the closest thing to a friend I have ever had. I only wish that I knew her for much longer, such as since the day I was born. Every second I am around her I realise so much more how much she really means to me, she's been such a good influence on my life and since I've known her I cannot imagine a day without her. She generally doesn't get much support for what she's going through and honestly I suck at being there for her and I don't mean it like I don't try, but I just don't know how to be positive about it or to be positive around her, so we have a rule that we just don't talk about it. Its that simple. So we avoid th discussion while deep down inside I fear the worst for her. So I check in with doctors and think about all these bad things they keep telling me. How terrible. Other than me, I can only think of her mother, brother and sister who have constantly shown that they care, others do pop by and check up on her and email her on the odd occasion but its never a consistent thing like she somehow disappears from their thoughts and somehow one day it hits them to email her or something. I get it, people have enough things on their plate rather than be concerned about a cancer person but I just hate them! I am sorry if your life is too busy for another person, if you're not going to care, THEN DON'T!

BUT! Alas! I hear of others who do care... to those inside Shauna's little blackberry (HA! YES), the ones who call themselves #TeamShauna.. This one's for you! So here my thank you goes:

Angela, first I just need to compliment you on your strength. You are amazing. I hear so much about you from Shauna and I'm glad you're in her life, she needs a strong influence like yours, someone who reminds her why she fights, why she pushes forward and why she makes this impact she does. I love how much you love her, she always talks about how strong you are, and it touches my heart every time I listen because somehow I know that's her, she's that strong and she barely sees it herself, so thank you for being her mother out there.

Brigitte, you are so beautiful! She always talks about how you and Lili and Colin just lights up her day. There is a picture at her bedside of Lili & Colin with a "get well soon" message and it absolutely lights her up when she sees it. I can honestly imagine how busy your life must be and every bit of time you take to just send her your love and let her know you're thinking about her means so much to her AND ME! So thank you for being so wonderful! Thank you for being loving toward her!

Sonjya! Sonjya! Sonjya! The amount of love you and your family have toward Shauna is so overwhelming! She thinks the world of you and always says that you're the big sis she looks up to and the big sis who completes her life! So thank you for being that big sis, and that role model. The amount of faith you have in her makes up for every second of doubt I have. So thank you!

Aby! The writer! You are amazing! Your writing is in a book at Shauna's desk and she ALWAYS reads that damn book! ALWAYS! And when I'm there, she'll be like "Alex, did you see Aby's text about..." And I'm like "Yes, only like the 200 times you've showed me" I love the power in your writing! It is so beautiful and strong and powerful and I just love it! So thank you for your words, your words which shows Shauna how much she means to you, thank you for loving (or sunning) Shauna so much! Thank you!

Merce'! Thank you for your beautiful messages and pictures and texts for Shauna. When you send her this text, she texts it to me. Saying: Alex! See what Merce' sent me! So thank you for inspiring her day, for brighting it up when she needs most.

Jody! Shauna's little sun! When Shauna talks about you, I feel the energy and just have to either burst out laughing or I just have this crazy mind rush! Thank you for being Shauna's reality! Thank you for always talking to her and sharing thing things with her, it makes her realise that she has a bigger purpose than just being sick, she can be there for someone else! So thank you!

Dana, I hope you read this. You are so lovely and beautiful and talented and I hope the day will come to learn this! Shauna still talks about you, so much about how inspiring you are. And she checks on your tweets, just to make sure you're okay. When she does that she says a little prayer for you to be kept safe. Thank you for being that for her, for giving her a reason, a reason to fight! I'm sure you'd know what I am referring to.

Erica, I know that I was missing a name! I am so sorry, I just became dumbstruck and saw the really adorable cat that I have :) I've heard quite a bit about you and I am so sorry about your grandmother. I know it is NOT easy at all to lose someone. And thank you for inspiring her, with your talks about faith and believing and hope! Thank you, its amazing how much you have contributed to her sanity over here!

And just know this (if I haven't said your name too) that every second you take to speak to her is a second you make her smile.

So that's from me, I know that I may have forgotten one or two and I'll punish myself about it a bit later, but I need to disappear for a bit.

Thanks for the read

Friday, 14 October 2011

heroes heroes where art thou heroes

Did that just make any sense?

I just had such an interesting conversation with our local superhero, and I've officially titled this conversation the title of this blog post. Somewhere in my mind there is a cabinet with files and folders and this cabinet is labeled "Shauna" and the folder named "Heroes, Heroes, where for art thou Heroes" and Shauna and I were conversing about it actually this morning. We were saying that this day and age is when heroes are needed most. Don't you all agree? Superman managed to stop a war (well a few), bring down crime, screw over corruption, stopping crazy alien invasions and saved the simple people like you and me and through all of this he was a role model. Jerry Siegel once said that we're all heroes in our own way, and we may not have the abilities like superman that can fly, shoot fire from his eye, run faster than a speeding bullet and so on but its in us. So what ever happened to that, the kids who played outside pretending to be superheroes, the awesome games you'd play with your friends outside, the not so hurtful words you'd throw at your friends.. Where did that all go? What happened to the kids who lived like that? I'm not asking it.. It was Shauna's thoughts but made me realise the same thing.. Its so strange how the world is today compared to what it was growing up.

Its just a thought I'm throwing out there.

Shauna's doing great. Well, getting there at least (think positive, think positive). She's walking on her own, limping but walking. Seems like our Garden Route trip may just plan out after all...

She's been holding strong on her treatments too. She takes it hard but she's ready and prepared. I'm proud!

Well, that's me for now.


Tuesday, 11 October 2011

busy times

So now Shauna's doing so much better. Everyone can see that she's getting stronger and stronger everyday. Yesterday she managed to walk 3 times across her room, and when she went the third time she let go of her support, which is her walking stick. When she got to the window she collapsed but still that is very fucking awesome! I thought it was so amazing! And of course James had this mini heart attack when she fell down (cute). I just love how protective he is of her, I think its adorable!

So Shauna signed the consent for this new procedure that the doctors are proposing. It sounds pretty scary but I trust Shauna to make the decisions that are good for her. So I'm supporting whatever she's okay and comfortable with. The procedure is intense and quite painful, as far as I am aware its only been done 3 times and not once successful. But I can see that these doctors are working around the clock on researching this matter! And they were able to answer any questions we had. So I am confident that this may work. The date confirmed for this procedure is 16 Novemeber - 1 December. Its pretty intense and I know I'll screw it up so if you wanna know more ask either James or Shauna, they'll know how to answer you.

And then the results, James says that Shauna's stable for now but any spike's in her blood pressure could trigger another panic fit, she doesn't need additional stresses... You hear that family?! I should slap that all in their faces. But we're moving on... Her body's responses to treatments are still the same, but it seems like she's handling things better. She also has made impressive progress in physio, showing off her willpower. I'm so proud of her.

Tests revealed that she has no scary things like tumors and stuff and no clots either.. Let's all party!!!

That's all for now :)

Monday, 10 October 2011


I should slap my internet connection! I updated the blog last night and guess what happened?! It shut out just when I clicked on "publish post"! Okay, so I'll try and piece together everything I did last night and do this again...

To start us off, I have a quote from the 1978 Superman movie. Its when Clark (Superman) and his biological father talk inside the fortress of solitude:

Young Clark Kent: Who am I?

Jor-El: Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton. Even though you've been raised as a human, you are not one of them. You have great powers, only some of which you have as yet discovered.

So yesterday Shauna's family gathered at her bedside. They had been planning a family visit for a while, but because they have so many issues they've delayed it. Since Shauna lost her memory, they've been pushing harder for this visit. So this happened yesterday. It was quiet at first and then discussions boiled about a family gathering. At first Shauna hardly paid note, her brother was there talking to me and she was distracting herself. James was in the room too, observing just in case it became too much for her. He noticed her pale disoriented look at some point and asked if she was okay and of course her reply was "I'm fine, no need to worry" yeah, who expected that?

As their arguing and bitching got more Shauna rolled over into a fit! James immediately reacted, called a distress for a nurse and Dr Adams. And shoved everyone out of the room. All that I could do was sit with her sister and hold her hand. Shauna's brother, sister, myself and her mother were all quiet. But the others had cause to talk utter shit! Judging the relationship Shauna and James has as if it was up for discussion and then talking about Shauna dying. Do these people evern have fucking hearts?! Seriously! I should beat the living crap out of them and I swear if I didn't respect Shauna's mother I would have killed them all!

When James walked out, they all got up ready to torment her again and then James spoke to them "until you all learn to respect Shauna enough to put your bullshit aside and be her family only immediate family are allowed in the room" and we "immediate family" went. Before going in I stopped James, asked what was wrong and he said that Shauna went into a panic fit and her blood pressure and heart rate was sky high (I can't remember the figures) and when I got back into the room Dr Adams was busy doing her checks again and she was asleep.

I have spoken to James again this morning and he said that she's doing okay, resting still and threw up a bit but she's doing much better.

I need to go for now, I'll be getting test results later and post them.

Thanks for reading.


Thursday, 6 October 2011

Proud "adopted" sister

Shauna, saved my life. She did, literally and well in all other ways possible. At the beginning of the year, I was almost I don't know what, well probably robbed or something outside a bar we were both at, I went to the car, to get my cigarettes. I was partially drunk, but felt the sudden need to smoke outside. Standing by my car, I lit up one and a guy came around to me. In my almost drunken state of mind, I conversed with him. He just said "Hi" and lit up a smoke with me. I didn't notice much of what he was happening at the time nor did I pay any attention to his other arm bracing a knife. He pushed me down with the knife onto the car. I barely fought back but Shauna came from behind him with Dylan (our friend) and kicked his ass! Without question! He somehow escaped and Shauna just ran to me. So yeah, she's a hero. And I absolutely HATE cancer for doing this to her.

Consider all the bad people on this planet and think, just for one second, think 'why her?' Its the hardest question to answer and don't, don't even try to ask her! She will just piss you off with one of her nice answers like "but Alex, there are no bad people in this world, just good people who do bad things" or "I wouldn't want anyone going through this" it makes you love her more on the one hand, because she's just so amazing, but then you wanna turn and slap her! I love her like that. She's not perfect, she's done her wrongs, and has flaws (not really) and at the end of the day, you look at her and smile because she is just so loving and wonderful. There's this cleaner, I don't know who he is, or what his name is but he comes around and cleans the floors and so on around here, and she talks to him! I mean! Really! She converses with him about his family and his kids and where he's from. It bothers me sometimes. She hasn't even been out that much, but you could ask her about anything or anyone and she'll be able to tell you who they are, where they're from, their family, what they do, EVERYTHING!

So I'm typically proud of her all the time. She's so amazing and so wonderful. I'd give anything if it meant that she would be okay (even my mother's blood - yes, she's the only match to Shauna that I know of - truestory). I love her so much and it upsets me that she doesn't get to experience things that she wants to. LIKE yesterday! I could see the broken down look on her face and the tears in her eyes, and just the hurt she had when James held her to comfort her. Shauna and I have had the same level of appreciation for music since we've met. We've been through some strange music phases from pop to house to jazz to rock to punk to metal... It goes on... And on and on. So we both love music and since I first recall we both had a certain kind of respect for Coldplay. And I remember her saying that she had been waiting so long for them to just come here! When Coldplay announced their tour dates for South Africa, Shauna IMMEDIATELY bought a Golden Circle ticket for us both. Making sure we'd be able to go before it gets sold out. The concert was yesterday, and she couldn't go. She finally sold her ticket yesterday and FORCED me to be there. Broke my heart to pieces! It sucks so badly that somneeone like this does not get to go and live their dreams! Its not fair! I would have easily swopped this situation so that she can freely enjoy her time there! Its not fair!

For today, she managed to walk 8 steps! How awesome is that?! Its like 7 better than one! And it makes me more and more proud to know her!

For now, she's asleep. Worn out from treatments she had earlier. I hope she'll be awake before I leave...


Monday, 3 October 2011

I'm Alex

So... This is SavingASuperhero... Perfect. I like this title Kelly! Great job! Its actually the first time I've read the blog, to be honest, I've read snippets but not all the posts. Again... Great Job Kelly!

So I am Alex, Shauna's best friend... Oops I meant adopted sister (that gets me in outside visiting hours) and I just love her! She's so NICE! I'm nasty, bitchy and depressive but Shauna... She's nice. We complement each other like that. Like superman and greenarrow. Just perfect! No, I haven't known her my entire life, and as her "adopted sister" I wish I did. Seriously! She's been so great, but I'm more badass ;)

Shauna's so amazing, I don't think people see it much but she's a real superhero. that's what I love about this blog title, these guys over here are really saving a superhero. She is so strong and I am convinced that she's superhuman! Definitely from Krypton. Who ON EARTH could go through half the things she does? Would you? I know I wouldn't, the minute I hear cancer, I'd die... Just because I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

And again! SHE'S SO NICE! Here's a good example: she has this ex, he's a bright idiot! They dated for a while (like 2 years) and he dumped her with a TEXT message, and why? BECAUSE SHE HAD CANCER! What a damn jerk?! And all she says is "its okay, I understand" noooooo Shauna! You don't let anyone do that to you and say "its okay"! Seriously! Then this idiot has the NERVE to invite her to his wedding, which she "RESPECTFULLY" declined! Whyyyyyy Shauna, WHY?! I even suggested going all green arrow and blowing up the place or ruining the wedding somehow and she refuses to let me intervene! Why does he get the happy ending? Someone explain this to me please?! *sigh*

Okay, done with the anger outburst. I'm glad she has someone like James now, he respects her and doesn't treat her differently. He's decent and makes her laugh, he keeps her happy.

Shauna was doing okay today, she had her treatments which made her a bit sick but after that, she was quite well. And of course, she was her normal self again making fun of everything, and destroying me with her cancer jokes. Funny, Shauna funny. Also, she had some tests done today, hopefully I'll be able to get some info on that and get it posted up here somehow. Other than all the treatments and crazy tests, she's okay. As okay as can be.


Saturday, 1 October 2011

a simple update

Hi all you lovely readers! So I've been a busy girl and sort of enjoying it. Wow! I have all these new duties and I am getting used to them. It is quite interesting going through all this, for me at least. I have 6 nurses whom I lead and meet with to discuss things and I organise things and its all so cool! I'm enjoying it.

Shauna is doing quite well. She has been making progress, and good progress. She also seems to be taking her treatment a bit better. I had a quick discussion with Dan regarding her physio report. Seems good, Shauna is able to control foot movement and still not legwork. She has been trying to do this too, knowing Shauna, she'll be running around soon again.

Also, Dr Elche and Dr Adams have been researching some "options" and have come across a procedure that may be effective. The work done one this procedure itself is minimal and it has only been experimented thrice and this has been unsuccessful twice. However Dr Adams has so much faith in this, it will aslo be "useful" inline with Shauna's treatment and Dr Adams has now proposed this treatment to Shauna for consideration. Shauna is currently thinking about it and Dr. Elche is doing further extensive research on it and will advise our sponsors and medical board of his findings and opinion. They are hoping to finalise a decision as soon as possible. Shauna seems optimistic about this and has said that she's considering it. I really don't know much about this kind of thing, but I assure you if Shauna does proceed with it, I will post more information. And I will have Dr Elche give me that information once he has finalised his research.

On another note, I will be on "leave" for the next two weeks. My partner and I will be moving next week and we'll be heading to Kimberly to visit her family for a few days, leaving bright and early Monday morning. Alex, Shauna's friend will be updating the blog in my absence and she'll be updating as much as she can. Though I will call Shauna on the odd occasion to check in on her.

Thank you all for reading

Kellsie :-)