Shauna is someone who simply enjoys life, its the only way I can honestly describe her. As a fighter, her will is strong. That make's her the person she is. But the smallest things are the things that keeps her going. Simple things gives her joy and material things means nothing much to her. She's the type of person that would rather talk to a homeless person than to someone who has enough money to buy a homeless person a house.
Its just who she is, and she has her flaws too like us all; she's stubborn, doesn't care enough for herself, she hardly concerns herself with her well-being, she hides her true feelings and doesn't talk about what's on her mind. That's just how she is.
Thing is, she likes doing things that has a meaning, that adds value and makes someone smile. She doesn't fight because its expected of her, she fights because she values her life and she wants it to mean something. Its what makes her such a wonderful person to be around. She has dreams of her own, and I don't think I can share that, but in her dreams you can see much of the person she is. Its part of her and there is no day that goes by without Shauna taking a step closer to reaching that dream. I see it every day, and I am honored for it.
This was a short one, but it all had to be said :-)
Saturday, 6 August 2011
Friday, 5 August 2011
"YES! I'M FINALLY ALIVE!"
Those words rang through the hallways of the hospital this afternoon. We were in the kitchen, and as Dr Levine was making coffee I was whipping a mean smoothie to reward Shauna for finishing her food. While busy I hear the yells, "Kelly! Kellz! KELLYYYYYY!" And then as I ran down to Shauna's room I nearly died when I saw her smile.
The detective was there, with her confirmation that Home Affairs had finally fixed her Identity status. According to the detective, two people were arrested in connection with the case. The detective couldn't laugh enough with her about all this, he had issued her with a letter that could be taken to the bank for clearance and confirmation that the case had been solved. Shauna couldn't stop laughing at the discrepancies on the documentation however she's happy that her "death" status had been removed. I can sniff that joy a mile away.
And biggest issue in all of this was she just needed to go pay those kids school fees, it was the only thing bothering her. She's so glad she can finally contact the schools to make the arrangements to pay the fees. Like I said, she's a superhero. And one way or another, she's saving the world.
As for today, she's been doing quite well. She's really going all out to prove herself to go on this trip. I'm way proud of her.
I need to get out now... Thanks for reading.
Kellz
The detective was there, with her confirmation that Home Affairs had finally fixed her Identity status. According to the detective, two people were arrested in connection with the case. The detective couldn't laugh enough with her about all this, he had issued her with a letter that could be taken to the bank for clearance and confirmation that the case had been solved. Shauna couldn't stop laughing at the discrepancies on the documentation however she's happy that her "death" status had been removed. I can sniff that joy a mile away.
And biggest issue in all of this was she just needed to go pay those kids school fees, it was the only thing bothering her. She's so glad she can finally contact the schools to make the arrangements to pay the fees. Like I said, she's a superhero. And one way or another, she's saving the world.
As for today, she's been doing quite well. She's really going all out to prove herself to go on this trip. I'm way proud of her.
I need to get out now... Thanks for reading.
Kellz
Thursday, 4 August 2011
"who's the doctor here?"
Of any of the patients I have ever dealt with or will deal with, I don't think that there will ever be someone like Shauna. She's so rare, even her blood type is, no really, it really is. She's the kind of person that would drive you to the brink of insanity and bring you right back to normality at the same time and with that, give you a good laugh. Being a nurse or doctor, you come across many horrible and scary things, your job as a doctor is to face it head on, your job as a nurse is to make it comfortable and turn a blind eye to the horror of the situation. Many people don't make this easy, especially with us nurses. For doctors its easier to shut themselves down, that's how they've trained themselves, you all know the saying: if you afraid of blood you can't be a doctor? Yes, that's part of it. For us nurses, we're trained to care, to be there for the patient and to be there for your patient, no matter what take care of them, walk with them, talk to them, make them comfortable, help them out of bed and the list goes on. Thing is, you cannot care without feeling something, at least I can't. I get attached, which is what my lecturer always told me. He would tell me that getting attached is wrong because you would never know how long it is till the person is gone. My theory goes: Make an impact where it counts. That's just me. Well, Shauna taught me that about myself. I just love how she changed your mind from "normal everyday human being" to "I need to save the world superhero".
My point to all of this is that with Shauna its all easy going. I don't know what it is about her that makes anyone just want to be there, maybe its how positive she is, or maybe its her personality, or maybe she absorbs you, or maybe you absorb her. But she's easy and amazing. And she just keeps us there, and she keeps us motivated. Yes she does, I tell you if at any given day you feel down or look that way or you're exhausted she'll give you one of her pumped speeches that will get you bounced back. Yes, that's Shauna. We wanted to do some kind of team bonding experience some while ago. And everyone's ideas were put together and it sucked. We were limited to what we wanted to do because we needed to do something with her and it was impossible to come up with something exciting. And the best idea we came up with was to have a puzzle afternoon with tea. YES! TEA! Who on this planet drinks TEA?! If it was coffee it would have been more appealing, but TEA?
When we approached Shauna about it, she refused! She said that this was the dumbest idea on the planet. Her words were "we have an entire wing on this clinic to ourselves and you want to drink TEA?" And Dr Elche opened it up to her, needless to say our team bonding ended up to be so much better. We had a wheelchair race, played Hide and Seek, ate junk food and all stayed awake in Shauna's room the entire night. That's her, bursting with ideas and carrying so much information.
Today, Dr Adams was talking to her. She turned the entire conversation without him realising. After Shauna had delivered her own diagnosis, he walked away and immediately said, "wait a minute!" And she said "don't you have a job to do" he walked down the hallway and ran back, "Shauna! I can't believe I just listened to you telling me this! Who's the doctor here?!" That's my special moment for the day. $
Thanks again for reading :-)
My point to all of this is that with Shauna its all easy going. I don't know what it is about her that makes anyone just want to be there, maybe its how positive she is, or maybe its her personality, or maybe she absorbs you, or maybe you absorb her. But she's easy and amazing. And she just keeps us there, and she keeps us motivated. Yes she does, I tell you if at any given day you feel down or look that way or you're exhausted she'll give you one of her pumped speeches that will get you bounced back. Yes, that's Shauna. We wanted to do some kind of team bonding experience some while ago. And everyone's ideas were put together and it sucked. We were limited to what we wanted to do because we needed to do something with her and it was impossible to come up with something exciting. And the best idea we came up with was to have a puzzle afternoon with tea. YES! TEA! Who on this planet drinks TEA?! If it was coffee it would have been more appealing, but TEA?
When we approached Shauna about it, she refused! She said that this was the dumbest idea on the planet. Her words were "we have an entire wing on this clinic to ourselves and you want to drink TEA?" And Dr Elche opened it up to her, needless to say our team bonding ended up to be so much better. We had a wheelchair race, played Hide and Seek, ate junk food and all stayed awake in Shauna's room the entire night. That's her, bursting with ideas and carrying so much information.
Today, Dr Adams was talking to her. She turned the entire conversation without him realising. After Shauna had delivered her own diagnosis, he walked away and immediately said, "wait a minute!" And she said "don't you have a job to do" he walked down the hallway and ran back, "Shauna! I can't believe I just listened to you telling me this! Who's the doctor here?!" That's my special moment for the day. $
Thanks again for reading :-)
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
The Mission and The Deal
So, upon my arrival today at the hospital. I saw a really conflicted Shauna. I sat with her to learn that she had not slept at all. Aside from her telling me all the things on her mind, Shauna mentioned a deal she made with Dr Adams and Dr Elche.
For the record, Shauna's just finished her treatment and is resting for a bit. No she's not sleeping, just relaxing herself.
Since her father was here, Shauna's been talking non stop about wanting to see the snow on The Outeniqua Mountain in George. She said that its the closest thing to running in the snow she'll ever get. Her father lives in George and she wants to go with her best friend Alex to go see the snow on this mountain. She's been going on and on and driving poor Dr Adams insane this entire week. For this Shauna decided to cut a deal today. Since August is the last month of winter and September brings spring. Shauna then said, if things go well in the next two weeks, she wants to go. She's promised to eat her food regularly, to cooperate, not take wheelchairs down the hall, not to go to the children's hospital, not to push herself too hard in physio and to get the appropriate rest she needs for strength. Now, you must be thinking, 'why on Earth would they agree to this?' Well Shauna needs her break. She's been stuck here and has not been allowed much out.
Let's see how the week goes, and I'll keep you all posted, I'm crossing fingers :-)
For the record, Shauna's just finished her treatment and is resting for a bit. No she's not sleeping, just relaxing herself.
Since her father was here, Shauna's been talking non stop about wanting to see the snow on The Outeniqua Mountain in George. She said that its the closest thing to running in the snow she'll ever get. Her father lives in George and she wants to go with her best friend Alex to go see the snow on this mountain. She's been going on and on and driving poor Dr Adams insane this entire week. For this Shauna decided to cut a deal today. Since August is the last month of winter and September brings spring. Shauna then said, if things go well in the next two weeks, she wants to go. She's promised to eat her food regularly, to cooperate, not take wheelchairs down the hall, not to go to the children's hospital, not to push herself too hard in physio and to get the appropriate rest she needs for strength. Now, you must be thinking, 'why on Earth would they agree to this?' Well Shauna needs her break. She's been stuck here and has not been allowed much out.
Let's see how the week goes, and I'll keep you all posted, I'm crossing fingers :-)
a shift ended
Wow! My shift just finished. Its 12AM and I'm sleepy, very sleepy. Shauna's awake too. She couldn't sleep so she's up reading some comic books and listening to some music. At least that was when I left, which is now.
I've been at the hospital since 6 yesterday morning which makes my total time there 18 hours? Weird, I'm not tired at all. And the time spent there was worth it. And from today, I'm back to my "normal" shift times. I remembered earlier that I hadn't posted the doctors shifts as well as the nurse shifts. This I will do later, once I've had some sleep and made a good smoothie :-) I tend to avoid coffee.
When sitting with Shauna earlier I realised something about her, when she speaks about things, she always speaks about the good, you can shove the bad in her face. She'll still find the good. Its weird. Like earlier, my girlfriend had called me while I was working, I texted her to let her know that I am working and I'd call her later, she was upset. No! She was furious. She always texts me at bad times, and I can't always respond time her at work or answer her calls especially if I'm on the floor (being around Shauna). Its not that Shauna has a problem with it, its just the "professional" thing, right? Apparently not! When I eventually called her, she flipped out, yelling at me. I think Shauna caught on when I got back to the room. When I told her this, Shauna listened and didn't tell me, "oh that sucks" or "she shouldn't have been so annoying" instead, Shauna reasoned with me, explaining why my girlfriend would freak out. Which was RIGHT! It was because I've been spending lots of time at the hospital, I think since Dr Elche has confirmed my full contract, I've been pushing harder and spending more time on focusing on Shauna's well-being. I admit, I was annoyed with Terry (my girlfriend) but I think after Shauna spoke to me, it made so much more sense. I called Terry back and tried apologizing and Terry flipped AGAIN! I was more furious than her for not understanding, again Shauna and I spoke, and Shauna just again, made me feel less angry. I'm on my way home now to make it up to Terry, I hope she's not too angry with me.
Thanks for reading all this... You're wonderful :-)
I've been at the hospital since 6 yesterday morning which makes my total time there 18 hours? Weird, I'm not tired at all. And the time spent there was worth it. And from today, I'm back to my "normal" shift times. I remembered earlier that I hadn't posted the doctors shifts as well as the nurse shifts. This I will do later, once I've had some sleep and made a good smoothie :-) I tend to avoid coffee.
When sitting with Shauna earlier I realised something about her, when she speaks about things, she always speaks about the good, you can shove the bad in her face. She'll still find the good. Its weird. Like earlier, my girlfriend had called me while I was working, I texted her to let her know that I am working and I'd call her later, she was upset. No! She was furious. She always texts me at bad times, and I can't always respond time her at work or answer her calls especially if I'm on the floor (being around Shauna). Its not that Shauna has a problem with it, its just the "professional" thing, right? Apparently not! When I eventually called her, she flipped out, yelling at me. I think Shauna caught on when I got back to the room. When I told her this, Shauna listened and didn't tell me, "oh that sucks" or "she shouldn't have been so annoying" instead, Shauna reasoned with me, explaining why my girlfriend would freak out. Which was RIGHT! It was because I've been spending lots of time at the hospital, I think since Dr Elche has confirmed my full contract, I've been pushing harder and spending more time on focusing on Shauna's well-being. I admit, I was annoyed with Terry (my girlfriend) but I think after Shauna spoke to me, it made so much more sense. I called Terry back and tried apologizing and Terry flipped AGAIN! I was more furious than her for not understanding, again Shauna and I spoke, and Shauna just again, made me feel less angry. I'm on my way home now to make it up to Terry, I hope she's not too angry with me.
Thanks for reading all this... You're wonderful :-)
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Attack
Thanks new follower :-) and welcome.
So today's song since Shauna got out of bed this morning has been Attack. Its a song by a band called Thirty Seconds To Mars. And Shauna is part of their fanbase named the Echelon. At first I didn't understand because she would say that they're family and I used to just go with it. I had the attitude that just said "whatever works for you" and then it became a thing I heard ALL day and everyday. Secretly I bought the album, and started listening to the music. I think I got the whole love for their music, but then "family"? I mean, really? Who calls strangers "family"? This makes absolutely no sense to me. Then Shauna got really sick and had been in a bad state, this was before leukemia was confirmed. At this point I realised why Shauna called them family. Goodness, I was overwhelmed with emails and messages for her. It drove me insane. Not just from them, the emails were from various people. But their messages for her were so intense. I got the point to it. I realised why she called them family, and with each message from them was no "shame" or "I'm so sorry" or "poor thing" or "life sucks anyway" it was pure and positive. I guess that's why she'd tell me to skip through all the other emails for just their messages. It was something that kept on giving her hope and till today, that hope still holds. It makes me smile knowing that she has people like this in her life.
The song "Attack" usually means "WAR" for us here. When this is Shauna's preferred choice for the day, we usually don't know what to expect. I think that is Dr Elche's fault. He drilled his fear of that song in us. As the day progressed we realised that the intention of the song was preparation, for treatments. Sometimes Shauna just needs a pump up for treatments. I've been at the hospital since 06:00 this morning. I'm hitting through two shifts, so there might just be a second update on the blog :)
Right now, I'm sitting with our oh so amazing Superhero in her treatment making sure she's okay, and she's held up good, besides the odd nausea. Which I'm jumping up and down for, another hour and she'll be done. Then my night starts.
As far as her test results goes, YES we have them. Still scary, however getting there. Her bloodwork reveals much to question. This is being looked into by Dr Elche and Dr Adams. Overall tests, still reveals the same as the others: not good or not good enough. With Shauna's case its confusing, at one point her tests results shows improvement and then it all goes downhill. I have no way to explain this. Really, I don't. With Dr Elche being home with all this information, he's currently relooking all the tests and the actions around these results being what caused it.
Yet she believes.
Okay, I need to leave now. Superman's calling. Another update coming later.
Oh sorry, had to edit... If this does not make sense, please understand that I really wasn't 100% focusing. Comment if I just made no sense at all and I will clarify :-)
So today's song since Shauna got out of bed this morning has been Attack. Its a song by a band called Thirty Seconds To Mars. And Shauna is part of their fanbase named the Echelon. At first I didn't understand because she would say that they're family and I used to just go with it. I had the attitude that just said "whatever works for you" and then it became a thing I heard ALL day and everyday. Secretly I bought the album, and started listening to the music. I think I got the whole love for their music, but then "family"? I mean, really? Who calls strangers "family"? This makes absolutely no sense to me. Then Shauna got really sick and had been in a bad state, this was before leukemia was confirmed. At this point I realised why Shauna called them family. Goodness, I was overwhelmed with emails and messages for her. It drove me insane. Not just from them, the emails were from various people. But their messages for her were so intense. I got the point to it. I realised why she called them family, and with each message from them was no "shame" or "I'm so sorry" or "poor thing" or "life sucks anyway" it was pure and positive. I guess that's why she'd tell me to skip through all the other emails for just their messages. It was something that kept on giving her hope and till today, that hope still holds. It makes me smile knowing that she has people like this in her life.
The song "Attack" usually means "WAR" for us here. When this is Shauna's preferred choice for the day, we usually don't know what to expect. I think that is Dr Elche's fault. He drilled his fear of that song in us. As the day progressed we realised that the intention of the song was preparation, for treatments. Sometimes Shauna just needs a pump up for treatments. I've been at the hospital since 06:00 this morning. I'm hitting through two shifts, so there might just be a second update on the blog :)
Right now, I'm sitting with our oh so amazing Superhero in her treatment making sure she's okay, and she's held up good, besides the odd nausea. Which I'm jumping up and down for, another hour and she'll be done. Then my night starts.
As far as her test results goes, YES we have them. Still scary, however getting there. Her bloodwork reveals much to question. This is being looked into by Dr Elche and Dr Adams. Overall tests, still reveals the same as the others: not good or not good enough. With Shauna's case its confusing, at one point her tests results shows improvement and then it all goes downhill. I have no way to explain this. Really, I don't. With Dr Elche being home with all this information, he's currently relooking all the tests and the actions around these results being what caused it.
Yet she believes.
Okay, I need to leave now. Superman's calling. Another update coming later.
Oh sorry, had to edit... If this does not make sense, please understand that I really wasn't 100% focusing. Comment if I just made no sense at all and I will clarify :-)
Monday, 1 August 2011
another day, right here
WOW I have 2 followers on this blog... Thank you :-)
We had a quiet day, for most of the day Dr Adams was home with Dr Elche discussing some of the test results that have returned. Though Shauna had some physio again, which did not agree with her. Anyone could tell she really didn't have the strength for it, however she pulled through and she's making good progress on the results.
Her nausea, however, has acted up again last night and today and we'll be monitoring this over the next few days, considering her treatment is scheduled for tomorrow. And with this we may need to be careful. Since the transplant, Shauna's immune system has flared up and down. We don't want to push her too far if she's not able to cope with it, not that she'll say. Its actually scary knowing all that's happening to her, I think I would have crashed long ago, not because of the fact that she has cancer or leukemia, but its watching what she experiences. When she wakes up in the middle of the night with a string of pain that she can't cope with so she wakes with a scream. A scream that roars across the hallways. THAT scares me. I instantly wake up and run to her, just to be at her side and to help ease things.
I don't mean to scare you reading this blog, but that's the reality. I can't remember a night where Shauna slept peacefully. Night shifts are usually the hardest around here, and I think that's why Dr Elche prefers to be at her side while she suffers this trauma, he usually has an idea of what to do. For us, it rings PANIC, trust the good doctor to know what to do in times like these.
She's an amazing person to be around though, spend enough time around her and she'll convince you that superheroes exist, that music can save you, that its not that bad an idea to "turn the other cheek", that the world aint that much of a bad place, that people are good, that things can go right if you believe in it and that you are amazing even though you see darkness in yourself. Yes, that's what time with her is like, that's what we get to experience.
Its all just another day, right here, where we need to be.
We had a quiet day, for most of the day Dr Adams was home with Dr Elche discussing some of the test results that have returned. Though Shauna had some physio again, which did not agree with her. Anyone could tell she really didn't have the strength for it, however she pulled through and she's making good progress on the results.
Her nausea, however, has acted up again last night and today and we'll be monitoring this over the next few days, considering her treatment is scheduled for tomorrow. And with this we may need to be careful. Since the transplant, Shauna's immune system has flared up and down. We don't want to push her too far if she's not able to cope with it, not that she'll say. Its actually scary knowing all that's happening to her, I think I would have crashed long ago, not because of the fact that she has cancer or leukemia, but its watching what she experiences. When she wakes up in the middle of the night with a string of pain that she can't cope with so she wakes with a scream. A scream that roars across the hallways. THAT scares me. I instantly wake up and run to her, just to be at her side and to help ease things.
I don't mean to scare you reading this blog, but that's the reality. I can't remember a night where Shauna slept peacefully. Night shifts are usually the hardest around here, and I think that's why Dr Elche prefers to be at her side while she suffers this trauma, he usually has an idea of what to do. For us, it rings PANIC, trust the good doctor to know what to do in times like these.
She's an amazing person to be around though, spend enough time around her and she'll convince you that superheroes exist, that music can save you, that its not that bad an idea to "turn the other cheek", that the world aint that much of a bad place, that people are good, that things can go right if you believe in it and that you are amazing even though you see darkness in yourself. Yes, that's what time with her is like, that's what we get to experience.
Its all just another day, right here, where we need to be.
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