Being here, being in this isn't easy. Its such a hard task, fighting a battle in faith that you'll win but deep down inside you know that there is this practical chance of you not making it. The biggest battle is fighting that thought, because if you let your guard down for one little second it will eat you! That's doubt, it takes away every bit of fighting faith you have and you got to fight it harder than fighting this disease itself.
But believing! Believing is the key, you got to believe! Believe in your doctors, believe in their oath, believe in your friends and family, believe in their strength, believe in your dreams, believe in its hope for tomorrow, believe in yourself, believe in the power you have. Its all about believing. If you keep that, you'll be guaranteed you have your strength. Believing won't magically take away your cancer, won't take away your endless days and nights in pain, it won't stop you from throwing up all the time, but believing helps. It gives you something to fight for. it clears your head.
I should have died 8 years ago, I didn't, that's what gives me hope. I didn't because my purpose was bigger and that's what I believe. So you, that's reading this.. Yes, YOU! You have a purpose too, and you have to hold on to it, nourish it, treat it, respect it and believe in it. That's how you get through everyday, you believe in it.
- that was the email I promised! She titles all these emails pillow talk. Its quite beautiful if you read them more often and what's nice is these associations send it across to their mailing list such as families, patients, survivors, and the list goes on. Maybe I should post more of it here? To keep you all more inspired by her? Well not that you need it from what I hear! I am off again to sort out some things at home and back in the morning with a fresh smoothie.
Thanks for reading :-)