Monday, 17 October 2011

thank you

I've read through Kelly's blog and noticed some odd thank you messages to those who support Shauna. And here's a little thank you from my side! Shauna is the closest thing to a friend I have ever had. I only wish that I knew her for much longer, such as since the day I was born. Every second I am around her I realise so much more how much she really means to me, she's been such a good influence on my life and since I've known her I cannot imagine a day without her. She generally doesn't get much support for what she's going through and honestly I suck at being there for her and I don't mean it like I don't try, but I just don't know how to be positive about it or to be positive around her, so we have a rule that we just don't talk about it. Its that simple. So we avoid th discussion while deep down inside I fear the worst for her. So I check in with doctors and think about all these bad things they keep telling me. How terrible. Other than me, I can only think of her mother, brother and sister who have constantly shown that they care, others do pop by and check up on her and email her on the odd occasion but its never a consistent thing like she somehow disappears from their thoughts and somehow one day it hits them to email her or something. I get it, people have enough things on their plate rather than be concerned about a cancer person but I just hate them! I am sorry if your life is too busy for another person, if you're not going to care, THEN DON'T!

BUT! Alas! I hear of others who do care... to those inside Shauna's little blackberry (HA! YES), the ones who call themselves #TeamShauna.. This one's for you! So here my thank you goes:

Angela, first I just need to compliment you on your strength. You are amazing. I hear so much about you from Shauna and I'm glad you're in her life, she needs a strong influence like yours, someone who reminds her why she fights, why she pushes forward and why she makes this impact she does. I love how much you love her, she always talks about how strong you are, and it touches my heart every time I listen because somehow I know that's her, she's that strong and she barely sees it herself, so thank you for being her mother out there.

Brigitte, you are so beautiful! She always talks about how you and Lili and Colin just lights up her day. There is a picture at her bedside of Lili & Colin with a "get well soon" message and it absolutely lights her up when she sees it. I can honestly imagine how busy your life must be and every bit of time you take to just send her your love and let her know you're thinking about her means so much to her AND ME! So thank you for being so wonderful! Thank you for being loving toward her!

Sonjya! Sonjya! Sonjya! The amount of love you and your family have toward Shauna is so overwhelming! She thinks the world of you and always says that you're the big sis she looks up to and the big sis who completes her life! So thank you for being that big sis, and that role model. The amount of faith you have in her makes up for every second of doubt I have. So thank you!

Aby! The writer! You are amazing! Your writing is in a book at Shauna's desk and she ALWAYS reads that damn book! ALWAYS! And when I'm there, she'll be like "Alex, did you see Aby's text about..." And I'm like "Yes, only like the 200 times you've showed me" I love the power in your writing! It is so beautiful and strong and powerful and I just love it! So thank you for your words, your words which shows Shauna how much she means to you, thank you for loving (or sunning) Shauna so much! Thank you!

Merce'! Thank you for your beautiful messages and pictures and texts for Shauna. When you send her this text, she texts it to me. Saying: Alex! See what Merce' sent me! So thank you for inspiring her day, for brighting it up when she needs most.

Jody! Shauna's little sun! When Shauna talks about you, I feel the energy and just have to either burst out laughing or I just have this crazy mind rush! Thank you for being Shauna's reality! Thank you for always talking to her and sharing thing things with her, it makes her realise that she has a bigger purpose than just being sick, she can be there for someone else! So thank you!

Dana, I hope you read this. You are so lovely and beautiful and talented and I hope the day will come to learn this! Shauna still talks about you, so much about how inspiring you are. And she checks on your tweets, just to make sure you're okay. When she does that she says a little prayer for you to be kept safe. Thank you for being that for her, for giving her a reason, a reason to fight! I'm sure you'd know what I am referring to.

Erica, I know that I was missing a name! I am so sorry, I just became dumbstruck and saw the really adorable cat that I have :) I've heard quite a bit about you and I am so sorry about your grandmother. I know it is NOT easy at all to lose someone. And thank you for inspiring her, with your talks about faith and believing and hope! Thank you, its amazing how much you have contributed to her sanity over here!

And just know this (if I haven't said your name too) that every second you take to speak to her is a second you make her smile.

So that's from me, I know that I may have forgotten one or two and I'll punish myself about it a bit later, but I need to disappear for a bit.

Thanks for the read

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