Shauna, saved my life. She did, literally and well in all other ways possible. At the beginning of the year, I was almost I don't know what, well probably robbed or something outside a bar we were both at, I went to the car, to get my cigarettes. I was partially drunk, but felt the sudden need to smoke outside. Standing by my car, I lit up one and a guy came around to me. In my almost drunken state of mind, I conversed with him. He just said "Hi" and lit up a smoke with me. I didn't notice much of what he was happening at the time nor did I pay any attention to his other arm bracing a knife. He pushed me down with the knife onto the car. I barely fought back but Shauna came from behind him with Dylan (our friend) and kicked his ass! Without question! He somehow escaped and Shauna just ran to me. So yeah, she's a hero. And I absolutely HATE cancer for doing this to her.
Consider all the bad people on this planet and think, just for one second, think 'why her?' Its the hardest question to answer and don't, don't even try to ask her! She will just piss you off with one of her nice answers like "but Alex, there are no bad people in this world, just good people who do bad things" or "I wouldn't want anyone going through this" it makes you love her more on the one hand, because she's just so amazing, but then you wanna turn and slap her! I love her like that. She's not perfect, she's done her wrongs, and has flaws (not really) and at the end of the day, you look at her and smile because she is just so loving and wonderful. There's this cleaner, I don't know who he is, or what his name is but he comes around and cleans the floors and so on around here, and she talks to him! I mean! Really! She converses with him about his family and his kids and where he's from. It bothers me sometimes. She hasn't even been out that much, but you could ask her about anything or anyone and she'll be able to tell you who they are, where they're from, their family, what they do, EVERYTHING!
So I'm typically proud of her all the time. She's so amazing and so wonderful. I'd give anything if it meant that she would be okay (even my mother's blood - yes, she's the only match to Shauna that I know of - truestory). I love her so much and it upsets me that she doesn't get to experience things that she wants to. LIKE yesterday! I could see the broken down look on her face and the tears in her eyes, and just the hurt she had when James held her to comfort her. Shauna and I have had the same level of appreciation for music since we've met. We've been through some strange music phases from pop to house to jazz to rock to punk to metal... It goes on... And on and on. So we both love music and since I first recall we both had a certain kind of respect for Coldplay. And I remember her saying that she had been waiting so long for them to just come here! When Coldplay announced their tour dates for South Africa, Shauna IMMEDIATELY bought a Golden Circle ticket for us both. Making sure we'd be able to go before it gets sold out. The concert was yesterday, and she couldn't go. She finally sold her ticket yesterday and FORCED me to be there. Broke my heart to pieces! It sucks so badly that somneeone like this does not get to go and live their dreams! Its not fair! I would have easily swopped this situation so that she can freely enjoy her time there! Its not fair!
For today, she managed to walk 8 steps! How awesome is that?! Its like 7 better than one! And it makes me more and more proud to know her!
For now, she's asleep. Worn out from treatments she had earlier. I hope she'll be awake before I leave...