So today was prep day, busy day for me and I probably should be asleep now and I slept for a bit but I'm suddenly so awake, I thought that I may as well post something before I sleep.
Today was busy, we had so many prepping to do and poor Dr Elche was a headless chicken and so was Dr Adams. Getting the scans done and everything, just for certainty. We met for a few hours this morning to discuss everything for tomorrow and it just ran busy since then. Well, now you ask me, how could you all be kept busy with ONE patient?
Shauna's health demands CONSTANT attention, monitoring her vital signs, checking on her breathing, running scheduled check-ins, making sure she's comfortable, treating any kinds of pain we can, relooking her charts, its really a lot. And we have 13 doctors on board (all specialists in their fields) and 4 nurses to make sure she's okay at every hour. This is what these trials are about. If you don't know about what "clinical trials" mean, then here's a little run down for you:
Dr Elche is a specialist in oncology research, and in his research he has found a certain treatment option for "cases" such as Shauna's. Shauna is his first trial patient and thus far the treatments itself has helped her. Clinical trials are more like experiments, to see if these treatments really do work, Dr Elche believes that it does, the trick is to actually pin point how it could help. To see if we can push to the limit and possibly beyond. To determine effects, results and probability. I think that explains much of it. Now the trials Shauna is currently on demands that we give her constant attention in terms of her health, any sniff, pain, nausea, dizziness, anything pertaining to her health is recorded and reviewed constantly. This helps us to measure how she's doing. This helps us to determine whether its working or not and how to administer it.
(OMGosh! I just realised that I used words like "us" and "we", please note that I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse, I use those words, probably because I feel so much part of the team that I just say it that way, they usually involve me in meetings and in discussions about Shauna's health)
Also, Shauna's still on the treatment for the trials, carefully monitored but still on it. Every recorded pain, nausea, well "sick" feeling Shauna has is recorded and investigated. Doctors investigate to make sure that what they are doing is not the cause to it.
With that thought, today was a busy day for last minute scans, talks, check-ins and making sure that Shauna is 100% okay. Whenever we "gear up" for surgery, I get weird and nervy, I never understand it. Its not a negative thing, its just a big deal for me. I'll get to assist in the surgery tomorrow, and Dr Elche will be overseeing the surgery, Dr Levine will perform the surgery tomorrow morning at 10:15, I will be up at 06:00 in the morning to do checks on Shauna and make sure that her vitals are noted. Dr Adams and Dr Elche will then be in to see her and make sure that she's okay for surgery, like a final clearance. And then I will move Shauna to the OR at 09:30.
I can't say how long it will be however Dr Elche has advised that he would let all the people know as soon as we are done. After the surgery I will move Shauna back to her room, and there I will be for that entire shift, thereafter I will be relieved and I will post something to give an update provided that there is much to give.
If you need an update, you could make contact with Shauna via her phone as you generally would, Shauna advised that I can respond to certain individuals should they need an update. So you can catch me on her email or BBM or Whatsapp or text, not sure if that's it but its what I usually do. Also, you're welcome to email me however know that I will only check my emails tomorrow evening, when I've finished the shift and get to my laptop.
Thanks for reading :-)
Kellz
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Saturday, 20 August 2011
A quiet Shauna = A sick Shauna
Shauna is generally very expressive with how she's doing, with the doctors and nurses that is. We may never know how she feels but when we see her she'd let us know of any odd pains and so on that makes things a bit easier for us. And for herself, she'll outright deny any pain medication and sometimes won't tell us the severity of her pain unless its serious. Often times, she's suffering while putting on that brave face.
She's also generally not quiet, and she's always sick. But I have learnt that when she's quiet its because she really isn't well. Today was one of those days.
Alex, her friend was here this morning and for the most of today. She left just after 3PM and she was the highlight to Shauna's day. They have such a beautiful friendship. Alex understands the severity of Shauna's situation and is willing to be there for Shauna even though half the time Shauna's uncomfortable about it. Shauna doesn't like visators much, she often feels that when they around her they have pity for her, and as if she's weak. Which is true. People often do not know how to deal with someone who has cancer so they tend to not know how to be around that person in a normal sense. Alex, on the other hand, can do that with Shauna.
Shauna got sick just after 1PM today and Alex, being a good friend, held her hair back while she threw up. I checked on Shauna for a bit and when I saw Alex sitting with her, I arranged for a check in. After Alex left, Shauna was really quiet, I ran by her room often and realised she hadn't been talking much to me. She put her phone on the table next to her and checked it every chance she could find herself getting but she just didn't feel like much, no comic books, no television, no playstation. She was just in bed and quiet. And by 7PM she was asleep. Up until now, she has been asleep. I was just in her room a second ago and there she was, still asleep.
Chest pump has been removed today, Dr Elche has confirmed that Shauna's infection has cleared up and for now she needs to focus on just resting. Surgery definitely to take place on Monday morning. Dr Elche has booked an operating room for 10:15. I will update you on the details tomorrow at some point, after we have all met.
Thank you for reading xoxoxo
She's also generally not quiet, and she's always sick. But I have learnt that when she's quiet its because she really isn't well. Today was one of those days.
Alex, her friend was here this morning and for the most of today. She left just after 3PM and she was the highlight to Shauna's day. They have such a beautiful friendship. Alex understands the severity of Shauna's situation and is willing to be there for Shauna even though half the time Shauna's uncomfortable about it. Shauna doesn't like visators much, she often feels that when they around her they have pity for her, and as if she's weak. Which is true. People often do not know how to deal with someone who has cancer so they tend to not know how to be around that person in a normal sense. Alex, on the other hand, can do that with Shauna.
Shauna got sick just after 1PM today and Alex, being a good friend, held her hair back while she threw up. I checked on Shauna for a bit and when I saw Alex sitting with her, I arranged for a check in. After Alex left, Shauna was really quiet, I ran by her room often and realised she hadn't been talking much to me. She put her phone on the table next to her and checked it every chance she could find herself getting but she just didn't feel like much, no comic books, no television, no playstation. She was just in bed and quiet. And by 7PM she was asleep. Up until now, she has been asleep. I was just in her room a second ago and there she was, still asleep.
Chest pump has been removed today, Dr Elche has confirmed that Shauna's infection has cleared up and for now she needs to focus on just resting. Surgery definitely to take place on Monday morning. Dr Elche has booked an operating room for 10:15. I will update you on the details tomorrow at some point, after we have all met.
Thank you for reading xoxoxo
Friday, 19 August 2011
its just her
Shauna's the type of person that you could take to any group of friends of any kind and you'll know that she will somehow manage to blow them all away. Seriously. I promised a few friends taking the same course as I did that I'd help them study for their exams. But the problem is, I'm staying at the hospital for the next two weeks, to be on stand by. I let them come around today and Shauna offered her assistance to help with the studying.
In total, we were 7 people. And for the entire time we were here, they just sat and listened to her. She has that kind of thing about her. It absorbs you to want to be there and take note. Hhhmmm maybe I should post their results when they get it ;-)
Hhmmm I think she'd make the perfect teacher. She would. An amazing role model, a good example, a respectable person, someone with a heart for the job.
Just for all your information: please take note that surgery will definitely take place on Monday morning. More info will come asap :-)
In total, we were 7 people. And for the entire time we were here, they just sat and listened to her. She has that kind of thing about her. It absorbs you to want to be there and take note. Hhhmmm maybe I should post their results when they get it ;-)
Hhmmm I think she'd make the perfect teacher. She would. An amazing role model, a good example, a respectable person, someone with a heart for the job.
Just for all your information: please take note that surgery will definitely take place on Monday morning. More info will come asap :-)
Thursday, 18 August 2011
another day
Crap! I just typed this entire thing and went out without saving! Oh well, I guess that wasn't meant to be...
So right now I'm sitting with Shauna. With her blood pressure that sky rocketed tonight and heart rate beyond its norm. But she's better now. Phew is all I can say. Okay, back to business...
So last night, Shauna got very sick. We sat with her for a bit. With her chest tightening like that we really don't like taking risks but the pump seems to be working well today. We really hoping the pump can be removed tomorrow or Saturday. We need Shauna's chest to clear up as soon as possible. Dr Elche is planning on proceeding with surgery Monday morning.
On a cuter note... :-) Shauna and Dr Elche got to spend some quality time today. He gave some of the doctors off for the day, the only running shift was tonight's... Hhhmmm he's whipped. At least that's what I think. When I got in on this shift, he and Shauna were sitting up and holding hands (thinking about it, I should have stolen a picture) and her head was on his shoulder... So cute. If I was straight... No comment.
Somehow I see it now, that shimmer of hope in her eyes. Like she doesn't care, because she believes that it will happen, that things will really be okay. I don't know how, and I certainly don't understand why, but its got me believing too. She' far to amazing a person to die. To me, if the world loses her, it loses hope. It loses a superhero.
Thanks Kelly
So right now I'm sitting with Shauna. With her blood pressure that sky rocketed tonight and heart rate beyond its norm. But she's better now. Phew is all I can say. Okay, back to business...
So last night, Shauna got very sick. We sat with her for a bit. With her chest tightening like that we really don't like taking risks but the pump seems to be working well today. We really hoping the pump can be removed tomorrow or Saturday. We need Shauna's chest to clear up as soon as possible. Dr Elche is planning on proceeding with surgery Monday morning.
On a cuter note... :-) Shauna and Dr Elche got to spend some quality time today. He gave some of the doctors off for the day, the only running shift was tonight's... Hhhmmm he's whipped. At least that's what I think. When I got in on this shift, he and Shauna were sitting up and holding hands (thinking about it, I should have stolen a picture) and her head was on his shoulder... So cute. If I was straight... No comment.
Somehow I see it now, that shimmer of hope in her eyes. Like she doesn't care, because she believes that it will happen, that things will really be okay. I don't know how, and I certainly don't understand why, but its got me believing too. She' far to amazing a person to die. To me, if the world loses her, it loses hope. It loses a superhero.
Thanks Kelly
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Hi all you readers. I'm so sorry for not updating the blog yesterday. We got a bit busy for a while and I was so exhausted last night that I just fell asleep. Also, thank you for the congratulations messages Shauna and Dr Elche told me about them.
Yesterday was a bit tough. We had the declotting procedure take place and it lasted longer than anticipated. Dr Elche then told us that the procedure wasn't much helpful and we'll have to prepare for surgery soon. Which is not really going to be great but he says that its needed. We have no idea when surgery will proceed but it will definitely be soon.
That's if for now, sorry I have something to attend to quickly.
Kells :-)
Yesterday was a bit tough. We had the declotting procedure take place and it lasted longer than anticipated. Dr Elche then told us that the procedure wasn't much helpful and we'll have to prepare for surgery soon. Which is not really going to be great but he says that its needed. We have no idea when surgery will proceed but it will definitely be soon.
That's if for now, sorry I have something to attend to quickly.
Kells :-)
Monday, 15 August 2011
a little secret
You know, you could never know enough about someone unless you just observe and listen. Sometimes its the best that you could possibly do. I work with Shauna everyday. I spend at least 6 hours a day with her and still there are things that I didn't know. She hides things well, feelings, hurt, pain, anger, frustration. Its embedded in her to hide these things. I asked Shauna if I could post this onto the blog and she was okay with it, so here goes a little story that Shauna told me today:
This morning as I came running into the room excited about my certificate, I could sense a certain "quietness" about her. Her brother was there, at her bedside. Quiet too. Though I could see something was up, my excitement was still in the air and I had to just say thank you to her a billion times. Her brother left at that moment, and as he said goodbye to her, a tear dropped from her eye. I looked at her and asked what she was thinking about that could make her this sad? She turned and said to me -
"16 years ago, I was 6 years old. I remember waking up to hear my dad bag the front door and leaving, saying he had to go somewhere. I remember getting out of bed and running to my brother and asking him to let me lay there. It was normal for my parents to argue, I hated it but somehow my brother could shelter it. My mother got ready for work and at the time, Shandre' was 9 months old and she was so quiet all the time. After my mother took Shandre to her daymother, my brother and I got out of bed and went to school. It was an hour walk from where we lived but we'd leave early so that we could walk slowly. Halfway through our day at school the principal called for us from our class and my dad was there to pick me up and take me home, that day Shandre' died because of a lung infection that went bad. I remember every minute of that day freshly in my mind. It was about 4 years before Chante' was born but the memory of that day will never leave my mind. Since the year I matriculated I have gone to her grave at least once a month, finding comfort in the thought that I could update her on everything that happened in my life, telling her who I was. Since I've been in hospital, I haven't visited her once. And today I stand looking out of my window into the very hospital she died in"
It tore me, hearing those words. I memorised it and I think I left pieces out but I just had to post this. Its part of who Shauna is. I will never look outside her window the same way again.
This morning as I came running into the room excited about my certificate, I could sense a certain "quietness" about her. Her brother was there, at her bedside. Quiet too. Though I could see something was up, my excitement was still in the air and I had to just say thank you to her a billion times. Her brother left at that moment, and as he said goodbye to her, a tear dropped from her eye. I looked at her and asked what she was thinking about that could make her this sad? She turned and said to me -
"16 years ago, I was 6 years old. I remember waking up to hear my dad bag the front door and leaving, saying he had to go somewhere. I remember getting out of bed and running to my brother and asking him to let me lay there. It was normal for my parents to argue, I hated it but somehow my brother could shelter it. My mother got ready for work and at the time, Shandre' was 9 months old and she was so quiet all the time. After my mother took Shandre to her daymother, my brother and I got out of bed and went to school. It was an hour walk from where we lived but we'd leave early so that we could walk slowly. Halfway through our day at school the principal called for us from our class and my dad was there to pick me up and take me home, that day Shandre' died because of a lung infection that went bad. I remember every minute of that day freshly in my mind. It was about 4 years before Chante' was born but the memory of that day will never leave my mind. Since the year I matriculated I have gone to her grave at least once a month, finding comfort in the thought that I could update her on everything that happened in my life, telling her who I was. Since I've been in hospital, I haven't visited her once. And today I stand looking out of my window into the very hospital she died in"
It tore me, hearing those words. I memorised it and I think I left pieces out but I just had to post this. Its part of who Shauna is. I will never look outside her window the same way again.
thank you!
Thank you Doctor Elche & Shauna for an amazing report back! I just got my nursing clearance Certificate for "Exceptional Development" and for "Highest Based Nursecare" I cannot believe it! I'm certified awesomeness (that's what Shauna would say). So yes, I have my certification and I am so proud of it!
Shauna and Dr Elche, thank you so much. Its because of you guys that I have this certificate. I quote below comments from both Shauna and Dr Elche on their assessment of me:
Dr Elche: it is such a pleasure to work with Kelly, she's well organised and has great skill and potential within this area of care. Kelly has an exceptional personality and brings a positive energy to our environment. She has, on several occasions proven herself to be an excellent nurse and often participates in ventures beyond her call. This we appreciate and look forward to many further experiences. With this commendation for her certification, I also wish to confirm that with effect from 01 August 2011, Kelly has signed a future contact with our trials and sponsors as Head Nurse. We only wish for the best for her and trust that her career only develops further in this regard.
Shauna: Kelly is sweet, honest and firm - something I need around here. She always pushes to inspire and motivate rather than just working. She is professional and impressively considerate. She has a type of personality that keeps you comfortable and always respects boundaries. I love having her around and working with her is such a pleasure. She deserves good accreditation for her good work ethic too.
Thanks guys! I love you!
Kellsie :-)
Shauna and Dr Elche, thank you so much. Its because of you guys that I have this certificate. I quote below comments from both Shauna and Dr Elche on their assessment of me:
Dr Elche: it is such a pleasure to work with Kelly, she's well organised and has great skill and potential within this area of care. Kelly has an exceptional personality and brings a positive energy to our environment. She has, on several occasions proven herself to be an excellent nurse and often participates in ventures beyond her call. This we appreciate and look forward to many further experiences. With this commendation for her certification, I also wish to confirm that with effect from 01 August 2011, Kelly has signed a future contact with our trials and sponsors as Head Nurse. We only wish for the best for her and trust that her career only develops further in this regard.
Shauna: Kelly is sweet, honest and firm - something I need around here. She always pushes to inspire and motivate rather than just working. She is professional and impressively considerate. She has a type of personality that keeps you comfortable and always respects boundaries. I love having her around and working with her is such a pleasure. She deserves good accreditation for her good work ethic too.
Thanks guys! I love you!
Kellsie :-)
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